Apologies and the future for me and my shows?

Over the past month now, I haven’t published any episodes of The Rockin’ Pop Party or talked about it all that much either. In fact, if you surf around my website, you’ll see some subtle changes that make it more obvious. So, you’re probably wondering what’s next? Will there be another episode of The Rockin’ Pop Party? Will you be bringing back The Geno J Show? Are there new podcasts or radio shows in the future? Well, the truth is, I have no idea. But, I will tell you what I know right now.

Last month marked the ending of Magic 109 and if any of you knew how much I loved that internet radio station, don’t know the half of it. I’d like to believe that I gave an opportunity to give that internet radio station a headstart among the rest. I put my heart and soul into the station. Magic 109 was on it’s way to a great future. Some may disagree with the practices of its commercials that aired on the station to help keep it afloat. Some may think that my business, gbj Imaging took advantage of its success. Maybe there’s even some of you who think that I’m heartless and munch off a project (in this case a station) and refuse to let it run any other way than what I believe is best for the station? Welp? You’re all entitled to believe what you think, but I would like to say something before you pass judgment.

The truth is, Magic 109 did NOT shut down due to financial issues. Granted, these issues were going to be a problem, but the reality is the station had enough money to keep going for another month at least, allowing it’s presenters to plan for there last show or possibly even make it to its 2nd year anniversary. Unfortunately, the issue dealt with management as it is in most online internet radio stations. It’s my opinion that not everyone on management was receptive enough to handle the stress of running a station, weren’t in touch with there feelings to discuss professionally what issues they had involving the station, or for that matter work with others. However, the decision to shut down the station was made at least in part by an individual not even on the primary members of management.

Ultimately, someone who we as management (me in particular) cared about deeply felt that they couldn’t contribute a voluntary monthly payment to the station or for that matter provide some of the services the station was using. They gave little to no time at all for me (or the remaining members of management) to find an alternative solution. The biggest part of all that was when I stepped up to help pay for a month of service for the station to continue, they said more or less “your money is no good”, paid me back, and terminated a longstanding agreement we had for years. Now, of course, some words were said, tempers flared, and I was upset as was the other members of management. That individual didn’t want to talk. Instead, I was painted out to be the route cause of the demise of the station and why things got out of control so quickly. It was after this that others left all mysteriously for the same reasons, that being stress. Was there stress? No doubt in my opinion, but a lot of it was caused by someone threatening suicide and making hasty decisions. After this, a wellness check was obviously necessary and later this individual showed there true colors saying “Well, I know how to work the system to get them to let me go home.” This is a terrifying perspective in my opinion. This individual along with the remaining member of management who took this individual’s side even continued to make management decisions long after they sent their letters of resignation. With all this said, it was obvious that at least I was upset when I was just trying to quietly negotiate an agreement to help pay this individual dealing with financial troubles, but others learned of it and had no interest in helping out when they were clearly responsible for some of the debt this person was dealing with. Instead, they pinned the blame on me saying I wasn’t paying for my commercials from gbj Imaging when in reality I didn’t see the need because the station was getting a free pass by not having to pay for the hosting, streaming, it’s TeamTalk server and whatnot.

Do you want to know the worst part of all of this? Those that left are apparently starting up their own station after stating to all of you that it was financial issues that caused Magic 109 to go down, at least according to a reputable source. So, it’s my belief they weren’t being honest and lied to you, the listeners, and were unhappy with the direction of the station and where it was going. At any rate, I would have 100% listened to their argument, but they didn’t want to talk, even after they initially requested to call for a management meeting though never showed up. That ladies and gentlemen is more and likely the REAL reason Magic 109 couldn’t continue.

Now, I’m not trying to say that I didn’t play a role in all this. I was raised to take responsibility for my actions. I was upset after all these individuals left mysteriously for more or less the same reason within hours from one another. Was it a conspiracy? Well, I’ll let you decide, but it could be looked at that way, couldn’t it? That said, I’d like to apologize to those who I said some things that were not appropriate and may have offended. Honestly, I just pray for those individuals and hope they see the errors in there ways as well. I pray that no more friendships are torn because of it. I say this only to show the fact that they were quick to judge, and blocked those that they think were responsible. So, if it happens again, would they turn amongst themselves if they get into a similar issue again? I know I shouldn’t point at someone else’s speck in their eye before removing my plank first. That said, one shouldn’t throw rocks if they live in a glasshouse. But, I’d like to think I can be approachable and any issue that you may have can be discussed civilly before it gets out of hand. With that said, I’m sorry and hope you can forgive me. This whole ordeal has reminded me that friendships are fragile and can turn on a dime. Some don’t last forever, but only a season. If I were to be asked to start a project like this (or restart it) again, I can say that I wouldn’t do it exactly as we did, only because if there was a friendship, I wouldn’t want to lose that. If there wasn’t a friendship, I wouldn’t attempt to create one and just stay mutual and strictly professional. Forgiveness as a Christian is an extremely hard pill to swallow, but when you realize how much baggage you carry when holding that type of resentment, it does feel better to let go. In the end, I’ve learned from my mistakes and grown wiser because of it.

Enough about what happened though, let’s look forward from here. What will become of The Rockin’ Pop Party and The Geno J Show for that matter? I don’t really know yet, but I have been very slow to respond to a feeling or whim. I don’t want to just jump into a new adventure, project, or start podcasting, or do shows for other internet radio stations until I feel I absolutely know that the Lord has been calling me to do it. I’ve seen too many radio shows, podcasts, and internet radio stations fall flat on there face because of this very reason and no doubt more will happen in the not too distant future. Not only all this, but I myself have been guilty of this same issue a few times. It’s one thing to get an urge or miss doing something you love, but it’s something entirely different when you know you’ve been called to do something for a reason and that’s what I hope happens. Right now, all I can say is that I have been looking at several different avenues and ultimately a decision won’t happen until I know first of all where I will be next year from now or if any plans have changed from where they’re at right now. Believe me, I miss bringing you all The Rockin’ Pop Party and I’ve been itching to do a podcast, even if it meant bringing back The Geno J Show. All I ask is for your patience and your prayers for a clear and obvious sign from the divine.